Wednesday, October 1, 2014

The Journey so Far....

     Here are a few of my pieces for my very first solo show, INKED. The show was actually extended until September 17 (yay!) I am very grateful that my work has been well received, and that the show was almost sold out. :)

   Time truly flies by so fast! I can say that now, but the journey to get to this point was not easy. Struggling with depression and frequent anxiety attacks made the process of creating art that much harder, and in retrospect, more meaningful. Art is both a boon and a bane.  It is what wakes me up in the morning and what gives me hope when I feel like there is none. But it used to also make me doubt my future. I suppose this has something to do with the stigma that artists are usually "starving." If you don't work hard or have any ambition, obviously that saying would be true regardless of what industry you are in. 

         It is damn scary to follow your dreams simply because we care about it so much, that failing would crush our spirit. We may never recover from it. And that fear is what stops many of us from following our true passions. There is also that fear stemming from social pressure. Going against the norm will instantly ostracize you. I have had people telling me that I am a bum and that maybe I should change career paths. But if you think about it - and I found this out the hard and depressing way - giving in to fear and social pressure will just crush you. Because of that, I was in a dark place for a very long time...until I said f*** it, I will do what I want to do with my life. I KNOW I am not a bum, and I LOVE art. I smile more now. The anxiety attacks have stopped, and I no longer desire to end my life. 

             Do what you love and love what you do. So much easier to say than to do. But that simple aphorism is a reminder of how great life could be if you just ACT. Wishful thinking and daydreaming are cool (and I do it a lot), but acting on what you really want to do (hopefully something that won't harm people or have a negative impact on others) feels so much better. It is literally turning your dreams into reality. 

          It doesn't even have to be something huge. It can even be as simple as finally taking your first dance lesson, or learning that language you've always wanted to learn. Just try it out. Even if it doesn't turn out the way you expected, it wouldn't mean that you failed. In fact, it means that you LEARNED. It was a hard fact I had to accept. Failing was not something I enjoyed. It actually made me erratic and anxious. But I have since erased the word "fail" from my head. When I stopped failing, I started learning. 

             That doesn't mean everything turns out into sunshine and double rainbows. Far from it. What I mean is that I stopped meticulously looking at the negatives - which I tend to magnify to epic proportions - and started focusing on the positives. "Failed" the first time? No problem. Learn from it. What can you do to improve? What new facts can I gain from this? Always constantly be willing to learn and improve, because let's face it, shit will happen. It's how you react to shit that really matters. 

           You are probably thinking, "Why should I listen to you?" or "Why am I even reading this?" The truth is, you don't have to. This is my blog and I will write down whatever the hell I want. I am just putting my thoughts into words, which is what a blog is really meant for anyway. And if life is getting you down at the moment, know that things can get better if you act. Don't wait for others to do it for you. I could have just cried myself to sleep all night and abandoned art altogether because of my depression. But I didn't. I fought back. I acted. And now things are better. It was NOT instant. Nor should it be. Nothing worth it ever comes easy. That just makes it all the more valuable. 

             Anyway, this is the last of my pieces. Even if you didn't want to read the words, I hope you liked viewing my work :) Hopefully I will update this more often now. Until next time! 

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